Bondage

When you got the ‘RopeBox Raw’, you probably want to treat and treat the endings. How to do so, you’ll learn in this section.

By design and by default, a rope has 2 ends. Always. Ever. No exceptions. 2 ends. No more, no less.
What to do with those ends? It is advisory to think about treating your rope ends according to what you feel works best for you. In most cases (also when getting yourself one of them RopeBoxes), you’ll get them with a simple overhand knot. Why?

• Everybody wants to have their rope end treated differently and some of the rope ending techniques are ‘irreversible’. Of course there is always the option of cutting the rope ending of, but that’s a waste of rope. With a simple overhand knot, which is very easy to undo, you’re free to end your rope the way you want, without the need to make your rope shorter by cutting it, before you even got to use it!
• Some rope ending is needed for shipping – without, the ends will start to fray, rendering the rope ends useless, so you’d have to cut them of anyway.

Okay clear. But what to do with the rope ends?

There are different ways to secure your rope ends. I’ll sum up a few below, and give some pro’s and con’s about them. Please do note that these arguments are based on my personal view and are not pretending to be the ‘al-knowing truth’. Maybe you agree with me on this – maybe not. As always, YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).

Unknotted endings

There are many ways to end your rope without a knot. This might be an advantage if you…

[PRO]: value your rope sliding through other ropes without ‘blocking’. Having a knot in the end tends to ‘block’ the rope when hauling through.

[PRO]: prefer an easy way of ending your rope.

[CON]: use different techniques for extending your rope while doing bondage, but which result in larger ‘connection knots’ – making it more difficult for hauling through. They also tend to ‘waste’ more rope, forcing you to have more extensions, and to force you to have a ‘safety leftover’ on a rope extension, which tends to look sloppy.

[CON]: have other disadvantages depending on the chosen way to end the rope.

• Duct tape (or other adhesive tape): will always get loose over time, leaving your rope with ‘sticky ends’. Tape is not resistant to the high strain bondage rope might endure. | The colors of available (strong) tapes are mostly not fitted ‘to go along with your rope’.
• Metal endings: Sometimes ropes are sold with a nice firm metal clip to end the rope. Yes it will probably hold. But imagine the metal clip hitting you (or even worse, your model!) at high speed while doing fast rope. Imagine the metal clip passing over your skin. The clip totally dis-balances the rope. To put it simple: Going for metal endings is a BAD IDEA.
• Burned endings: This is only applicable when you use synthetic rope. Don’t use synthetic rope. It’s bad for yours and for your model’s skin. Just don’t … Use natural fiber ropes.
• Shrink sleeve: this is a very easy and fast way for your rope endings. However, when shrunk by heating, the ends done with shrinking sleeve tend to become almost as hard and solid as metal clips. See earlier why that is a bad idea.
• Thread whipping: By very tightly winding some very strong thread around your rope endings (about 1 cm) and finishing this of by ‘sewing’ the remainder of the thread through the rope, is the ‘best way’ to end the rope without using a knot. The (small) disadvantage of the thread coming undone after very intensive use of the rope is ‘acceptable’. In such case, redo the whipping.

Knotted – The overhand knot

The simple overhand knot can be used to prevent your rope ends from straying. Do a simple overhand knot like this or this. Don’t forget to pull the knot VERY tight at the end of your rope, leaving at least 3cm of rope extra. If the short end is too short, it might come undone.

[PRO]: very easy knot to tie. You’ve probably already did this one a thousand times.

[CON]: The overhand knot is rather ‘big’, as it easily gets as big as 3 times the diameter of your rope, making pulling through often harder. Besides, it’s not the most streamlined knot ever, making pulling through even harder.

[CON]: Of course you pulled the overhand knot to end your rope really tight. Nevertheless, it is prone to come undone over time. You don’t want that happening ‘in action’. You may overcome this to put a small drop of glue into the knot.

Knotted – The thistle knot

The thistle knot is… well, more complex. Let’s do the pro’s and con’s first, and then get to the ‘how’.

[PRO]: Neat knot, very small compared to the diameters of the rope

[PRO]: To the best of my knowledge, never can come undone by itself, not even under heavy strain.

[CON]: It’s a ‘rather difficult’ knot to learn. But hey, who doesn’t like a challenge? Once you have it ‘in your fingers’, it’s OK.

I always use the thistle knot for ending my rope. In my opinion, it is the best and most reliable way.

So, how to… As said, it is a ‘rather difficult’ knot to make. My (personal) tips & tricks:

wrap a small piece of adhesive tape (e.g. 1cm) around each of the 3 strings of the rope (compare it to the little plastic things at the end of your shoe laces). This prevents the individual strings to unfold, and makes it easier to put the individual strings through.

use a set of pliers to pull the individual strings.

Pull the strings ‘one by one’. Don’t pull too hard on one string. Pull gently. First string 1, than string 2, than string 3. Repeat in that order until the knot is secure. You should do at least 3 rounds. If you pull one string too hard, your knot will (partially) collapse, resulting in an ugly and non-symmetric knot.

To the tutorials! Watch these clips a couple of times attentively. You’ll see, after the 3rd time, it doesn’t look so hard any more ?

Youtube link

If anybody has another (video) tutorial on how to make a thistle knot, please contact me!

Different partners

If you have a lot of different partners with whom you tie, hygiene might be a concern. Yes, people do sweat, yes we all ‘shed skin’ constantly. It’s not wrong to expect your rope partner to have a certain level of personal hygiene. Would you swap t-shirts with your partner? If you use your ropes often with different partners, try to avoid explicit contact with private areas. To the best of my knowledge, nobody ever caught a disease from bondage, but just the idea by itself might be repulsing. Another option is of course to have a spare set of ropes and give the rope you used for ‘intimate contact’ to them as a souvenir ;-). 

In any case, if you have a lot of bondage partners or just a single one, treat your rope right. See ‘everyday rope care’ to learn what to do.

I threw it on the ground…!

Yes, there is a very amusing clip with that title (See this YouTube video) but throwing your rope on the ground is what we’re trying to avoid as much as possible. Keep them away from dirt, moist, filth, … If you’re doing bondage, make sure the environment is clean. How clean? Would you lie on the floor there?

But they are really dirty!

Well, using your rope might (and will?) make them a bit ‘dirty’ over time. You can clean them in 2 ways:

The light way: Use a damp cloth and pull your ropes meter by meter through. Not a soaked cloth. Damp is the word. Make sure you’ve got a cloth that does not pick, because the fluff of the cloth might get all over your ropes. Use one of them fiber cloths. Works perfect!

The heavy way: You can wash your ropes by hand. I don’t recommend the washing machines, since this is too intense. However, if you do, use a lingerie bag or a pillowcase. I don’t recommend the ‘heavy way’ because the rope will get soaking wet. As a result, the rope will swell up and shorten. The drying process is very cumbersome and must be done as quickly and thorough as possible. The rope swells up because the water is getting in between the fibers. Rope gets its strength by the friction the different fibers have to one another. When the water evaporates from in between the fibers, without the fibers getting ‘forced together’ again, the rope will lose strength dramatically. To overcome this, the ropes must be dried under tension. So, take your wet rope and apply tension to it by stretching. After a few hours, you’ll notice that the rope you have put under strain is ‘sagging out’. Reapply tension. Do this on a hot summer day, so the rope will dry as fast as possible and also the core will be able to dry. If the core stays wet, then some of the fibers might start to rot, again causing a drop in strength. 

Overall advice? Don’t wash your ropes…

But they are really, really, really, really, really dirty!

You should have been more careful not to get your ropes that dirty ? However there are times they’ve become too dirty to use. Think about getting another set. If you’re doing bondage in many places that are getting your ropes dirty quickly, then you probably had enough fun to justify getting a new set…!

Treat your ropes with the respect they deserve. Why do they deserve it? Because they provide you an endless amount of fun!

• usually your ropes are stored in a bag or something similar. That’s OK, because you need to transport them. But let them out once in a while.
• usually your ropes are neatly folded together (hmmm I should make a video on how I fold my ropes and put it here… ). Allow them to ‘rest’. To ‘lose strain’. To ‘get some air’. Do this by taking all your ropes out of your bag, unfold them, and hang them like you would hang laundry e.g. over a clothesline or the bamboo you tied to the ceiling. Or you can do it on a (dry) day outdoors. Leave them hanging there for hours. Or days. Let them breathe.
• fold them. Don’t coil them. Yes there is a huge difference. (I really should get that video up…!)
• don’t use any braiding techniques whatsoever for rope storage. Your rope will take that shape and you will severely damage the fibers. Not good.

To go along the path of your own journey, it is useful to get pointers in the right direction. Independent of what level of experience you have, there is always something you can learn. Maybe I cannot teach you, but maybe I can. Due to over a decade of bondage and teaching experience I’m confident that I can teach you something new with special attention to:

Speed: Getting up to speed by ‘doing things faster’ will only get you so far. By doing things smarter, you’ll get really fast. Why is speed important? Because if you have the speed in your fingers, you’ll get fluent. Your muscle-memory will get trained, leaving you time to focus on the real fun: quality time and intimacy with your partner.

Insight: It’s good to learn ‘how it is done’. It’s better to also learn why it is done that way. Learning new tricks is good. Fully understanding them is better.

Getting private tuition will give you the awesome sensation of mastering new skills, independent of the level of experience you have. It will also motivate you to go along the wonderful path of Rope Bondage. All this is tailored to your level, your expectations and your needs, not forgetting of course the level, the expectations and the needs of your partner / model!

Okay, but is it something for me?

There are many reasons why people prefer private tuition over attending a (public) workshop.

– You just might not feel ‘at ease’ at a public workshop. Some people still find attending a workshop ‘in public’ is ‘admitting’ you’re into kinky stuff. Well, everybody attending this workshop is into the same stuff as you are. He who judges you for being into bondage, is a fool. Of course, a ‘public’ workshop is still behind closed doors. The only thing ‘public’ about this is, that there are more people attending.

– You have a ‘public function’, you’re a well known person, your job requires you to have an immaculate record, … You might feel safer by taking a private tuition session. After all, for learning, it is best that you feel comfortable.

– You’re looking for specific skills or tips and tricks. You have specific questions about techniques you want to master. You feel that you would grow from very specific advice.

– You really want to advance in your bondage skills, but you cannot seem to find the time to attend a workshop – the schedules just don’t match.

These reasons might or might not comply with your views or reasons. That’s okay. All reasons are ‘valid’. 

So, it’s up to you to decide if private tuition is something for you or not. Read on below. If this doesn’t provide you the answers you were looking for, do not hesitate to contact me.

Well, many things I’d say… You can find a few below. However, this list is not limiting of course. Get in touch and we’ll find out together if I can help you find what you’re looking for. Please do note that non of the examples below are consecutive to another. They’re all unrelated.

• The basics / a refreshment
• The more advanced basics
• TK (Ligatio Version)
• Erotic bondage for lovers
• Sadistic bondage
• …

So you know you’re interested in Rope Bondage. But where to start? There are so many things out there, there is so much online. But what is good to learn from and what is not? Besides, online material cannot give you feedback. It cannot correct you if you’re doing it wrong (and it’s the details that matter most!). You cannot ‘see it from the other side’ if you feel you need to, to better understand the technique. Getting the basics taught in a private tuition session will make sure you’re getting started in the right direction, learning the right techniques on which you can build. 

Maybe you’ve been into Rope Bondage in the past, but somewhere along the way you lost your skills. Ready to pick them up again? A refreshment might be just the thing you need!

So, you’re mastering the basics. Where do you want to go now? You’re looking to expand your set of techniques, and looking to take your skills to a higher level.

The Takate Kote (box tie) is a ‘standard exercise’ with many benefits…

– It contains many different techniques, getting you familiar with different aspects of bondage.
– It is often the base if you’re looking for suspensions.
– It allows so much creativity, while not losing sight on safety and aesthetics.
– It allows you to dig deeper in the ‘why’ of different techniques and offers you insight in general bondage concepts.

Please note that the Takate Kote (‘TK’ in short) is a concept with countless variations. During the years I’m into rope, I developed a specific version, which I teach. That doesn’t mean that other TK versions or variants are ‘wrong’. All variants have advantages and disadvantages. He who tells you otherwise (“This or that TK is suitable for everything” tells lies. Lies says I! ) The skill lies in knowing these strong and weaker points, and adapting ‘what you do’ based on this. Complex? yeah I know… come and find out! 

So many different reasons why you want to learn bondage. It isn’t wrong in any way that the erotic aspect of Rope Bondage speaks to you. Together, we explore in this session(s) how to apply Rope Bondage for erotic or sexual activities, while ensuring a ‘safe and sane’ situation.

Rope Bondage can be used to be sadistic. However, it is more than ‘rough rope play’ to get there. ‘How’ and ‘what’ will be dug into in this session(s). “The thin line between pain and pleasure”. Is there even a line? And when does pain become pleasure? Or is pain always pleasure? Let’s find out! 

Well, basically anything can be discussed. Do you have this incredible idea? Maybe we can explore it together! Get in touch…

The rate is €75/hour. Typically, a session takes 2 to 4 hours. 2 hours might be a bit short, but suitable for specific things or details. 3 hours is average. 4 hours is okay if you’re looking to learn a lot and have energy aplenty. Longer than 4 hours might be too much to deal with. It’s much information to process. Give your brain enough time to deal with all the new knowledge. One-on-one tuition is intensive, so expect a lot to come at you. I’ll make sure you get the right dose! 

If you got yourself a RopeBox you’ll have a 10% discount voucher for private tuition. Use it. Please do mention it when discussing the session by email. 

If you’re looking for multiple sessions, if you want a specific curriculum, I’m sure we can work something out on the price part. 

If you’re organizing an event (see further) and you want me to provide a workshop, get in touch. We’ll see what we can work out…!

Well, that could be your place, my place (Belgium / Antwerp area), or another place. Let’s discuss these details by email.

Well, what you would expect. We start by saying ‘hello’ and make sure we’re all at ease. Then we get to the ropes. Typically I demonstrate techniques (or parts of them when they contain many steps) and then you repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat until you’re comfortable with it. Then we move on to the next step(s). Along the session, you will notice your own progress. You’ll see that you’ll master the techniques step by step. After the session we say ‘goodbye’. That’s polite and goes along nicely with the ‘hello’ we started the session with ;-))

Yes and no. Of course, that depends on the kind of level that you’re looking for. Start with the basics and move on from there. If you feel confident to take a lesson at a certain level, go for it. But make sure that you are at the level that you think you are. It’s always easier to ‘step up’ during a teaching session (meaning that we can always add more ‘on the spot’) than to ‘step down’ (slowing down, and not getting where you wanted to be). The former will give you a great feeling (YES! I learned even more than I was looking for!) where the latter might give you a shitty feeling (oh no, seems that I overestimated myself!). However, what is mandatory: You should be willing to learn. Suck up the knowledge like a sponge. Have an open mind, and stay focused. Success guaranteed!

There is of course no dress code for such a session! However…

If you’re the one learning the ropes, wear something comfortable. Wear something that makes you feel at ease. I’ll probably be wearing a jeans and a t-shirt myself 🙂

If you’re the one who is being bound, wear something that is comfortable. Wear something that makes you feel at ease. However, it might be convenient if you wear something ‘more tight’. Loose clothing, or clothing with a lot of fringes tend to get in the way during bondage. Such clothing won’t give the one doing the bondage an easier ride…

OOPS! I almost forgot the big ‘Do I have to be naked?‘ question! Let’s keep it simple: NO, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE NAKED/TOPLESS!!! But what if I really want to be naked/topless during the session? That’s fine by me. Your call. Whatever makes you feel comfortable… I really hope that question is solved once and for all now 🙂

Please do elaborate on where you want your bondage path to go to. We’ll work out some details together, and we’ll see where we end up. Where exactly we’ll end up depends on your vision, your creativity, and your commitment to yourself. It’s exciting for me to accompany you on that path. I’m looking forward doing so!

No. I just share with you the views and insights that I acquired over the years. I teach you how and why according to my experience, putting ‘safety’, ‘knowledge’, ‘skill’ and ‘experience’ first. There is not such a thing as a ‘bondage school’. There is no diploma, certificate, or whatever. There is just you knowing more, and being better in bondage than before you took the private tuition session.

Of course not. Why should you? I’m just a regular guy: I eat, sleep and **** just like you. We’re equal human beings. Chances are that I know a little more about bondage than you do, but that’s what the session is for: sharing my knowledge with you. I’m sure you’ll do just fine at our session!

Obviously it is an advantage if you have a partner for doing bondage during the private session. You’ll need somebody to practice on. Please do note that I’m in no way a ‘dating service’, but I can give you hints on where and how to find somebody for attending a (private) session:

– You can start a topic in this Fetlife group. (please do note that Fetlife is a FREE website, but does require you to have an account.)

Wherever you’re posting/asking/… for a model, make sure that you mention it is for a private tuition session. Yes you can mention it is given by me. Yes you can give them my email address if they want to confirm the session. Be polite, clear and honest. You’ll be surprised how fast people are interested!

No, we cannot provide you a model. If you ask (by email) I could see if I know anybody who is interested. Don’t count on it, chances are 1/100. I won’t give you any contact details. I’ll give your contact details to a possible partner.

If you’re fine with getting a private session without having your own model, you can practice on my model. However, in that case, we’ve got a couple of questions for you. To be discussed by email. Please do note that such a setup slows down the workshop. This disallows us to do things ‘next to each other’. Me giving the example – untying – you practicing is slower than ‘going together’, but of course not impossible.

Let me start by saying that indeed, this is a really cool idea! So yes, this is possible. Let’s work out the details by email, but these things are important:

– How many couples will be attending? Depending on the workshop content, the amount of couples attending the workshop will be limited at a different number. Rule of thumb: no more than 12 couples for any workshop.

– What is the content that you would like to offer? (let’s brainstorm on that)

– What is the expected level of experience of the attending people?

– Do you have a place / space / … where the workshop will be held, and what does it look like? What facilities does it offer?

Yes you can. Agreed, it would be weird to say otherwise, but…

– I have +15 years of bondage experience to rely on, both in teaching and bondage.

– I have taught countless workshops – from beginners over intermediate to advanced.

– Yes discretion is important to me. Nobody will ever know that you took one or more private sessions. By the way, I expect the same from you.

– Might sound a bit silly, but yes I have a good reputation to keep up. On is only as good as his last action. You can trust me that I’ll do everything I can to get you at the level that you’re aiming for.